Eavesdrop on almost any conversation in real life and there’s a lot going on. Close your eyes and it will become obvious that someone is leading and someone is following; on person gets to change the subject and the other one happily follows. One person may be listening while the other hardly hears what the other says. Even if they’re discussing something neutral such as where to meet, someone gets the final veto. Conversations are like a seesaw – and it’s very unusual for it to be pitching back and forth in smooth harmony. Whenever people talk – about anything at all – they are revealing something deeper about how they respond to each other.